In Heat

WARNING:  If you’re male and don’t like to hear about such stuff, or if you just don’t ever want to know about the slightly awkward part of owning a dog that you potentially might breed some day, you might want to skip this blog.  If, however, you don’t mind and you can find humor in reality, read on friend, read on......

Zuzu has been in heat once before.  Sort of. 

At the time, I was thinking, “Hey, this isn’t bad at all!”  It was actually pretty hard to tell.  A little swelling, a little licking, and the only confirmation were a few tiny drops of blood on the tile floor.  No big.

Zuzu is in heat again.  Correction... Zuzu is ON FIRE!

It all began relatively slowly during our vacation in Florida.  She started peeing more.  Instead of her usual - one quick pee as soon as she gets outside and one when we return to the yard - she was acting like our old male dog and doing the ‘sniff sniff pee’ thing all over the place.  And anytime she heard a bark, she’d stick her nose up in the air, perk her ears up, stick her tail up all pretty, and basically poof up like a peacock. Then we noticed the licking.  Lots and lots of licking.  

We got her home to Virginia, and still I was thinking that this isn’t so bad.  In the house, she’s even being a little more lazy.   And she’s eating all of her food at every meal instead of being her normal, picky self.

Then the bigger changes came.  I laugh when I think that I thought she was swollen back in August.  This is swollen.  I’m surprised she’s not walking funny.  Oh, and the blood.  If only dogs could wear diapers!  And why, oh why, did I buy a house with cream carpets?  At least I know where to clean each day and I’m sure I’m getting it all up.  Spot Bot owners, Unite!  If we had brown carpets, I’d have to call in Stanley Steamer just to make sure that I got what I couldn’t see.  The spots aren’t big and it’s not nearly as bad as, well, I would be if I were a dog, but still.

The funniest part is taking her on walks.  My puppy is definitely “Queen of the Ball”!  (You have to say that with a big wave and snap in the air, and a bit of a head bobble.)  I thought having teenage daughters was interesting.  Even Darby has nothing on the head turns that Zuzu is receiving this week!

I thought her friend, Jesse, was going to break down his garage door from the inside out when we walked by two days ago.  If Jesse is outside when we walk by, he’ll run up and say hi and try to get Zuzu to play, but if he’s inside, we might not even hear a bark.  I think he was physically flinging his body against his garage door, trying to get out.  And Jesse has been neutered.

Other dogs have switched directions on their walks, with confused owners looking embarrassed and all apologetic towards us from across the street.  “I just don’t know WHY he won’t focus, today!”  I think at least two neighborhood shoulders have been dislocated.

The best one ever, was the little golden lab that was over a block away, and turned around to look at Zuzu.  His owner gave him a tug to get him going forward again and he collapsed, right in the street.  I felt so sorry for her as she continued to try to get him to stand up and he kept flopping right over, panting and looking at Zu.  She finally gave up, shrugged, and said, “I guess we’re going nowhere until you pass.”  We made a wide circle around him with Jim and I between her dog and ours, and just as we passed he jumped up on his feet, wagging and barking as we walked by.  I think I actually saw Zuzu smile as she pranced by!  I pictured her singing “My Humps” like Fergie as she passed:

“You can look but you can't touch boy,

If you touch it I'ma start some drama,

You don't want no drama,

No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama”

Or maybe that's just what I wish she was singing, rather than ringing the dinner bell and shouting, "Come and get it, boys!!!"

So, for now, Zuzu gets no more walks in the neighborhood.  She is grounded to the backyard unless Jim and I are both there to protect her, and since he went back to work today it’s fenced-in time for her!